ARC is here! Or, my new alien.

Seriously, I almost can’t look at it, it’s so shiny and new. The Advance Review Copy of Deadroads is actually in my hands. 

DEBUTANTE VAPOURS in 10 seconds or less

• ANNOYANCE: husband interrupts my train of thought (writing) to hand me a special delivery.
• PANIC: self-explanatory
• SELF-DOUBT: what if everyone hates it?
• GUT-WRENCHING DOUBT: what if I hate it?
• MORE AWFUL DOUBT: what if no one reads it?
• AGONY: what if everyone reads it and realizes I’m an idiot? (return to simple self-doubt. Repeat.)

Husband tells me to open the package.

It’s beautiful! The cover illustration (by the talented Dominick Saponaro) looks appropriately ominous, and I love the typeface. Holding my debut novel for the first time is a little like holding my first baby. I can’t believe I did it. I can’t believe it’s finally here. It's so alien and yet familiar.

I am completely terrified I’ll fuck it up.

Unlike with a genuinely perfect human baby, I immediately started to pick at it. No cocktail shrimp fingers, no adorable little scrunched up face turning purple. Nope, EditorGirl springs to action: Goddamn it, wished I’d taken out that word. How could I have finished that sentence there. Maybe that wasn’t the best use of an em-dash (god knows I have a steamy love affair with my em-dashes).

Anyway. It's still beautiful. And alien. And I love it.

 I feel like this:

Available as an e-book March 15, and as an actual for-realsie paper book on April 1. Fittingly enough.