Inspiration in unlikely places

First of all, I'm supposed to be inspiring them, right? Those adorable little 12- to 14-year-olds with a passion for writing and art. A week, I have them, ostensibly to create something, to light a fire within them that will keep them warm when the summer's sun has run its course and the reality of winter--and school--has hit.

Bounced around like an eraser thrown at a wall, one girl, 15 going on 40, poisoned everything she touched, drew the other little girls to her like sparkly moths to her dark flame. "She'll find it hard to not smoke at the camp," her CAS worker confided as she dropped her off, "she's been at it for the last five years."

I watched her turn her self-loathing inside out, wear it like spiked armour. All eye rolls and sighs, tight skirts and bad home bleach. Black nail polish bitten like hot tar.  Look harder (I told myself). Feel first, judge later. The last slide show, end of camp, when all was said and done and felt: a series of pictures. Her smiling in spite of herself. I hadn't caught her in those moments, yet there they were.

Maybe she couldn't allow herself to like where she was, because she never liked where she was, and if she liked it--if she permitted herself to like it--she would feel the camp's loss more keenly when she went back to the place where she smoked and bleached and cut. "I don't want to be here," she said more than once. "I just want to do nothing. Isn't that what summer's for?"

I came home last night optimistic; hard not to when the advance cheque from SkyHorse was right there, black and white proof that life is, indeed, good. I can allow myself to enjoy the moment. It's been a long time coming.

She taught me that, even though she had not learned it herself.

Stasis. Again. Still?

So, officially, the Skyhorse-Night Shade acquisition is all signed off (read about deal here).  I'm presuming that means Dead Roads will see the light of day, but I haven't had much information. I am a cheerful, outgoing sort, so I always assume things will be all right. I kinda have to, given my relentless optimism.

Other aspects of life have been zooey, which is a distraction, from both stress and writing, but enough is enough. Yes?

So I have returned to the sequel for Dead Roads, which is right now called The Drowned Girl. All of which is making me want to hop in the car and go to Caraquet, New Brunswick, in August.

Back up a little.  Festival acadien de Caraquet, aout 1-15, ouais? Ouais. Lisa Leblanc, for crying out loud. Like to see her. I know, I know, there's plenty of festivals right here in Ottawa that will be brilliant, but the chaotic crisis climax of the second book actually happens at the Caraquet festival, so I'd like to be there.

Already the summer is filling up: I'll be in Europe for a couple of weeks in July, and I'm teaching at the summer camp first week of August, but after that? I could use a road trip, right? Right! Any takers?

Helluva town

Off to NYC tomorrow morning, mostly for nefarious purposes (i.e. eating well and maybe seeing some art), but also I will be meeting my agent.

That's right. In person. Not on the phone, or in email messages (or possibly, in my dreams/nightmares, but best not to talk about that).

It seems strange, that I haven't met this person who works so damn hard on my behalf, but I bet this is not unusual.

Looking forward to this much-needed trip. I have a stupid amount of work to get done today, but it's possible I just might get it done.

Getting Back on a (New) Horse

There's been much said about Night Shade Book's impending slide into bankruptcy, so I won't wade through the complex pros and cons here.

Suffice to say that my announced split with NSB came a couple of moments too late to gracefully pull out before the buy-out plan was announced, and that meant remaining with NSB, a house that while awesome in its ability to put out lovely books, wasn't known for its business acumen.

So, this leaves me with a potential new landlord, Skyhorse/Start. Things seem to be going in a good enough direction for me, and for my agent, to sign the deal. If the deal goes through, things look optimistic for Dead Roads to get out, since Skyhorse will want a return on its investment (i.e. me). Also, I am impressed that Skyhorse/Start revised their initial author terms after many, many writers (all of whom more experienced than I) pointed out the initial less-than-equitable terms. It shows that they're willing to listen, one can hope.

If everything goes to plan, Skyhorse/Start will be a new publisher in the SF/F genre with a cracking good catalogue. I'm tentatively happy (read: thrilled) to have meat back on the menu.

NEWS: Tricky Business

If you’ve tried buying a pre-order of Deadroads from Amazon in the last few days, you may have noticed what you thought was a glitch in the system. A weird message that read that the book was no longer available.

Do not adjust your screen. Or call Amazon.

Night Shade Books and I have parted ways. Our vision for the book started to diverge a couple of weeks ago, but I wanted to make sure all the i’s were dotted before going public, so I apologize for the radio silence.

Other authors have described their goodbye with Night Shade more eloquently than I possibly could, most notably Bradley Beaulieu. 

Night Shade produces amazing books, and their authors are deserving of reader support. I am really sorry I won’t have the opportunity to work with them, particularly editor Ross Lockhart, who has recently left NSB as well.

So, what’s next? Well, rest assured, for anyone who has pre-ordered, money will be returned, first of all. As for Deadroads, it is awaiting a new publisher. My agent, Sandy, is such a huge supporter, and she works very hard on my behalf. I hope to have news soon.

I may take the same hybrid route as Bradley Beaulieu, depending on how things fall. This publishing business is changing all the time—how we find out about books, how we buy them, how we read them. Opportunity? Or challenge? Both? Both.

Also, I blogged

...but not here. I know!

I blogged over at the Qwillery, all about how I love my day job, which I could have happily strangled today, seriously. I love my clients, really I do. It's all interesting stuff, but there's too much of it. I am waiting patiently for April to arrive, because  everything will either be done by then, or not. And if it's not, I'm still off to the west coast for a visit to my aging parents, and then to NYC with my daughter and bestie, and then, oh THEN, I'm to New Orleans and I really just can't wait.

In the meantime, apparently there's a book out at some point.

Lookit, review!

"Don't pay any attention to what they write about you. Just measure it in inches." - Andy Warhol

Dead Roads is due out soonish, and in the lead up I seem to be in the middle of the busiest bit of museum-work that I've had in, oh, about five years. So I've been scattered like you wouldn't believe, in every way you can imagine.

I took yesterday off, first day off since January, but ended up going to the ER anyway, so it wasn't much of a holiday. On the other hand, I got to hang out with one of my paramedic friends for about 5 hours (and her new baby), so that was lovely.

As some of you know, the main character of Dead Roads is a paramedic, and really, I love the EMTs. They have such a great sense of humour and they love their jobs. I sing their praises! There's an advance review of Dead Roads up at Katy Sosaeva's Blog, Now is Gone. So, go read it already!